Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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