Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
