I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
