he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
