my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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