I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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