no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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