Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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