There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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