R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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