I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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