Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
