it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
