i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
