Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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