Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
