Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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