Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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