You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
