Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
