apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
