So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
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