Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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