Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
