Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
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