Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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