1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
