So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
