she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
