And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
