she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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