sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
