And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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