Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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