I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
