Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
