so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
