So drunk, too bad you don't want this
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
