You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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