i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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