Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
