when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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