so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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