Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
