Non-Jews are for practice
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
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