Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
