Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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