Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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