And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
