So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
