he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
