how can u be prego again
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
