Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
