That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
