this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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