Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
It's Friday. Sex?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
